There’s an element of surrender and readiness that one needs to possess in order to successfully go through the process of ukuthwasa/ho fehlellwa and to become a healer. The reasons everyone undergoes the process vary and are not limited to ukwelapha/kalafo or ukuthwasisa/ho fehlella.
The purpose of ukuthwasa is to refine skills and a knowledge base that lay dormant in us until we reach an age of readiness. The age of readiness is not determined by the one who possesses the gift, but by their guiding ancestors. You’ll hear people speaking of idlozi elivuthiwe/badimo ba phahamang, in describing this readiness.
Prior to the formal process of initiating into bongaka/ubungoma/ubugqirha, there’s a process of being stripped of all comforts, in order to prepare you for the road ahead. The first stage of the death of the ego, if you will. Often times, we do not recognise the collapse of the structures of our lives as pre-death of the ego. Ukuthi nathi sigcwele imfundo nesilungu kakhulu, manje kuvele kubenzima ithonga maselivuthelwe ukuyongena ephehlweni. We see this collapse as an inconvenient and unfair process that is absolutely unnecessary. “Why did they have to strip me of all my worldly comforts to show me that I’m called? How can they be this irrational and aggressive? I don’t want this thing mna.”
Be absolutely honest, when you had all your comforts in place and the dreams were subtle at first, did you pay attention to them? Or did you plead ignorance…” Nna ke ne ke sa tsebe, sefapano!” If badimo had not taken everything you had your attention focused on, would you have paid attention to this work you’ve been called to do?
We all possess different personality traits, strengths, weaknesses, talents, developmental histories and so forth. We are gifted in different ways. We are also wounded in different ways and are at different stages of confronting those wounds and healing from them. We enter the process of ukuthwasa with our own merwalo/imithwalo and no amount of dancing, beating the drum, digging up medicinal roots and going through the curriculum can change this. The change has to come from within. It has to be intrinsically motivated. If you were lazy before the phehlo process, you will be lazy post phehlo. If you had dysfunctional habits before, they will remain post phehlo. Unless you commit yourself to changing those patterns.
You have to meet idlozi lakho halfway. You need to pull your weight. Even ephehlweni/lefehlong you need to pull your weight. Your physical, emotional and cognitive selves have to come to the party. You can’t abdicate that responsibility and leave it to idlozi. It doesn’t work that way.
Your guiding ancestor(s) may be ready for you to undergo the process, but is your human self ready? By readiness I mean, have you surrendered yourself to the process ahead? Are you ready to face yourself, in truth and earnest? Of course it isn’t easy, but we have to start somewhere.
If you’re not ready to surrender, don’t waste your time and money undergoing a process you’re going to undermine. Don’t bother yourself because you will remain the same person you were prior to the process and that would be a shame. You’ll probably be worse off, if we’re keeping 💯.
Lesedi bana ba thari e ntsho ❤️